Breakeven
by All-music-is-beautiful
Summary: When a heart breaks, it never breaks even- Jade writes a song for the Jam, hoping to explain her current situation. 'I look at him, but he's to busy looking at her to notice'... xx
1. Chapter 1

**AN: I guess this is my way of grieving the loss of Victorious… Ahh… I'm so depressed..**

**Disclaimer: Do you really want to make me feel more depressed by forcing me to admit that I don't own Victorious? *Sigh* Fine, I don't own these characters… everything belongs to Dan… I also don't own the songs used and mentioned. **

"Sooooo?" Came Tori's chirpy voice as she dropped her tray on the lunch table, plopping heavily into the seat next to a grinning Cat, "Whose gunna sing at the Jam?" The dark haired Latina asked, eyes shining. Cat squealed, "Me! I'm so excited! Hey, this one time, my brother-" Andre cut her of my commenting that he too would be singing at the Jam.

"I presume you'll be performing too, Tori," Jade said, her words coated in venom. Tori took no notice of her sarcasm and smiled, "Yeah, I am!" Jade rolled her eyes, "Well it just so happens that I, too, am going to sing something. I have some… things I need to say…" Jade said, briefly glancing at Beck, who was sitting across the table from her. But, before he could look up, she'd turned her head away.

Cat squealed again, "Jadey's gunna sing for us!" A look of fury graced Jade's features, "DON'T CALL ME THAT!" She shrieked, before grabbing her bag and storming away.

Jade knew that she probably shouldn't have acted that way towards Cat, but now Beck had left her, she couldn't control the angry pit in her stomach. _Besides_, Jade reminded herself, _I still have to finish writing that stupid song for the Jam. _The gothic girl slipped quietly into the Janitors closet, ready for a full half-hour of writing.

"Jade, I'm scared!" Cat mumbled from beside her. Jade rolled her eyes and pushed the shaking red-head onto the stage as her name was called, "You'll do fine Cat," She told her.

Cat had written a pretty little song called, 'Anything but ordinary' and she'd been practicing it for ages. Once the song had finished, she hopped down from the stage with a huge grin. The bouncing girl skipped to her seat beside Robbie, who congratulated her on the performance. "Tori Vega and Andre Harris, please take the stage," Tori flashed a grin to Andre and they walked onto the stage, Andre carrying his acoustic guitar. The melody was sweet and so was the song. It was about never giving up on the one you loved. Andre had spent ages stressing over the name for the song, but he'd eventually settled for, 'I won't give up'

"Alice Roberts," Jade felt a rush of anxiety hit her, she was next. Jade didn't pay any attention to the Alice girl, because she spent the whole time panicking, but not quite knowing why. Jade never got nervous, just like she never sweats. "Okay, and now we have, Jade West. Take it away Jade."

Jade shakily stood and walked to the micro-phone. She couldn't let them see how scared she was. She _needed_ to explain some things, and the only way was through the song. The music began to play and Jade closed her eyes.

_**I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing,**_

_**Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in,**_

_**'Coz I got time while he got freedom,**_

_**'Coz when a heart breaks **_

_**No it don't break even.**_

_**His best days will be some of my worst,**_

_**He finally met a girl that's gonna put him first,**_

_**While I'm wide awake, he's no trouble sleeping,**_

_**'Coz when a heart breaks **_

_**No it don't break even, even no.**_

"_Jadey? Jade? Is that you?" Came Cat's small voice. Jade abruptly stopped crying. "Go away Cat!" She could her Cat slowly backing away from the Bathroom stall, but then she heard her voice again "Please let me in Jade… I-I-I want to help you." _

_Jade let out a shaky sigh before unlocking the door. Suddenly Cat was hugging her and Jade couldn't help but let out all her tears. "I can't believe he didn't come after me Cat… I just… I just thought what we had been more than that…. I-I thought he loved me more than that…" _

_Cat just hugged her tighter, "He does love you… or did… I don't know Jade… He seems so heartbroken about it all." _

_Suddenly Jade was standing, eyes full of fury. "Don't lie to me Cat! We both know he couldn't give a damn about it! He was _glad_ to get rid of me!" And just like that Jade was crying again, "I saw him and Tori, at her house. They were going to kiss…" Jade trailed off and Cat mumbled, "But they didn't…" _

_Jade sighed, "Only because Tori told him, 'no'… He loves her Cat…"_

_They sat in silence for a while, and then Cat whispered, "I don't think he does…"_

Jade met Beck's eyes, trying her best to look away. She couldn't read his expression… These days it felt like he held no emotion at all.

_**What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you?**_

_**What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok?**_

_**I'm falling to pieces**_

_**I'm falling to pieces**_

_**They say bad things happen for a reason**_

_**But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding**_

_**'Coz he's moved on while I'm still grieving**_

_**And when a heart breaks **_

_**no it don't break even, even no.**_

_Now Jade wasn't with Beck, nobody talked to her… Not really even her supposed 'Friends'. The only reason she hung around with them anymore was just to see how Beck was. It just felt like even Cat's words of comfort couldn't stop her from missing what Beck and Jade had had. Jade would sometimes cry herself to sleep, but when she'd get to school, he'd be there: a huge smile on his face as he flirted with Tori. He was showed even less emotion than before. She could feel herself ripping at the seams, every easy smile he sent her would tug her heart apart just a little bit more. But what else could she do but smile back?... Even if it was a little broken…_

_**What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you?**_

_**What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok?**_

_**I'm falling to pieces, yeah**_

_**I'm falling to pieces, yeah**_

_**I'm falling to pieces **_

_**(One still in love **_

_**while the other one's leaving)**_

_**I'm falling to pieces, **_

_**(Cuz when a heart breaks **_

_**no it don't break even)**_

Jade was struggling to lock up the tears that threatened to spill over the edge. She just had to hold it together until she'd finished the song… then she could run and forget this ever happened. But then she noticed that Beck to looked like he was fighting to keep his tears from flowing. A single tear rolled down his tanned cheek, but it was gone before Jade could be sure it was real.

_**You got her heart and my heart and none of the pain,**_

_**I took my suitcase, I took the blame.**_

_**Now I'm tryna make sense of what little remains, oh.**_

_**'Coz you left me with no love, with no love to my name.**_

_**I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing,**_

_**Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in,**_

_**'Coz I got time while she got freedom,**_

_**'Coz when a heart breaks **_

_**no it don't break, no it don't **_

_**break, no it don't break even no.**_

"_Tori! What do you mean 'you think you might be in love with Beck!'?" Andre hissed in a whisper to the Latina in question. Jade hid behind the lockers, pressing her back against it so she could hear they're discussion. _

"_I'm not in love with him! I just like him… a lot…" Tori mumbled, blushing. Jade had the urge to punch the 'Little Miss Perfect' in the face… but then she remembered that Beck didn't belong to her anymore… Tori was allowed to fancy him… It was Jade who wasn't…_

"_Jade still seems really upset about the break up… I mean, I know she has an odd… and angry… way of showing it, she's obviously not over him. Maybe it wouldn't be a good idea to move in on Beck just yet…" Andre mumbled, unsure._

_Tori nodded, smiling sadly, "Yeah, I know… I just… I dunno I'm like you… I can't get over things unless I express them…" Andre smiled and nodded._

"_Well, why don't we write a song for the Jam about it… just like I did with Jade… Then you could get over it…" Tori gasped, "That's a brilliant idea!" She kissed him on the cheek and his blush didn't go unnoticed. _

_Jade sighed, she'd just have to get used to it._

_**What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you?**_

_**What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok?**_

_**I'm falling to pieces, yeah**_

_**I'm falling to pieces, yeah**_

_**I'm falling to pieces, **_

_**(One still in love **_

_**while the other one's leaving)**_

_**I'm falling to pieces, **_

_**(Cuz when a heart breaks **_

_**no it don't break even)**_

Jade eyes swept the crowd. Tori was bawling her eyes out, murmuring about how beautiful the song was. Andre was smiling sadly, pride shinning in his eyes as he flashed a thumbs-up. Robbie was smiling and comforting Cat who was silently shedding a few tears. Then Jade's eyes returned to Beck, he was looking at the ground, guiltily. The music slowed down and Jade sung the last few words.

_**Oh, it don't break even, no**_

_**Oh, it don't break even, no**_

_**Oh, It don't break even, no**_

The music stopped and applause filled the area. Jade had been good… really good. But she didn't care about winning the stupid competition. They all knew that in the end it would be Tori who won anyway. She stepped off the stage, walking towards her friends. But then she locked eyes with Beck, and later with Tori. She couldn't take it… them… So she walked past, barely even looking at the mis-matched group… The tears started to fall, but this time, no one was there to see.

**AN: The songs used are:**

'**Anything but ordinary' by Avril Lavigne (I don't know if that's how you spell it! Lol)**

'**I won't give up' by Jason Mraz**

**And 'Breakeven' by The Script (Um… I don't know if this band is as big in America as they are here in the UK but they're really worth listening to! Maybe you could review and tell me! ;)**

**Thanks for reading! xx**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: So, originally this was going to be a one shot, but I got a few reviews saying I should finish it up. So I've added a bit I hope you enjoy and don't be afraid to review! :) Xx**

**Disclaimer: I own 0% of Victorious… :'(**

Jade didn't know how long she spent sitting on the steps outside Sikowitz's classroom. The halls were empty, but she could still hear the last few acts floating through the walls from the Asphalt café. Wiping the final tears from her eyes, she stood up and brushed herself down. Tightening her black jacket around herself she slowly made her way back to the stage. Silently, she crept into the seat beside Cat.

A row behind she could hear Tori going on about how nervous she was, and praying that she had won. Jade rolled her eyes and sighed. The emcee walked to the front of the stage, grinning and congratulating all of the acts.

"Okay has everyone enjoyed tonight?" He asked. The crowd cheered, but Jade couldn't help but mumble, "No." The over-excited emcee started literally bouncing up and down, "And are we all ready to find out who one this competition? I think the judges have made a very good and hard decision about the winner for tonight so let's give them a round of applause… Alright, in fourth place we have Eddie Williams!" Jade watched as Eddie from her dance class was pushed onto the stage by his friends.

"In third place we have… Cat Valentine!" Cat squealed and jumped up onto the stage, grinning like a maniac. She was handed her gift voucher and she skipped back to her seat. "Well-done Cat," Jade whispered to the red-head. "Thanks Jadey," Jade just rolled her eyes at the use of her nickname.

"In second place we have…" Jade couldn't care less whether she placed or not, but she did find herself praying that Tori wouldn't snatch first place again… "Jade West!" Murmurs ran through the hall, some complaining that Jade should have won and others sighing with relief.

Jade stood, ignoring all that was going on around her and numbly walked up to the stage to collect her vouchers for Nozu. A small smile flickered across her face as the audience clapped for her. She bowed her head slightly and took her seat once again. "Okay, and in first place we have… Tori Vega and Andre Harris! Alright guys come and get your prize money!" Hurt shattered Jade's smile, fury lacing her every thought, fire burning in her tear filled eyes. Tori had beaten her again… Jade sighed and stood to walk out, but just before she could leave a warm hand caught her wrist, "If it's any consolation," He whispered into her ear, "I think you should have won…" Jade shivered under the touch of her ex-boyfriend, "Whatever…" She mumbled, breaking free of his grasp.

Beck ran a hand through his hair as he watched the beautiful girl walk away. '_You broke up for a reason' _he tried to remind himself. Tori skipped up to him, launching herself into his arms, "I won!" She exclaimed. Beck didn't have the heart to tell her to just leave him alone for a while. So he did what he'd been doing since he'd broken up with Jade, smirking and flirting with her in the vain hope that she'd be satisfied and would leave him to think. "Well done," He murmured, "You totally deserved it." He couldn't stop the grimace that slipped onto his face; after all, he was practically lying through his teeth.

_Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you'll look back and realize they were the big things…_

**Thanks for reading! **

**Reviews? ;) xx**


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